We are going to be okay: martial arts and hardship

Last week, I posted about the unwilling adventure my son and I went on when he was unexpectedly hospitalized. Though he was released from the hospital, the journey continues as we try to figure out the cause of his sudden illness. I am tired. Navigating this road was not something I had on my agenda, and a path that seemed straight forward a mere few weeks ago now seems like an unknown highway full of twists and turns, with jagged cliffs on every side. I simply do not know what the future holds.

So, I cling to my faith, which has never failed me. Isaiah 28:16 says: “this is what the Sovereign LORD says: ‘See, I lay a stone in Zion, a tested stone, a precious cornerstone for a sure foundation; the one who relies on it will never be stricken with panic.’” No, I will not panic. However, there are choices that need to be made. I am considering the commitments I made to myself months ago when I decided to compete, at the age of 50, at a national tournament. Do I continue when my son likely cannot? Do I want to? Is it reasonable? Does it matter?

Competing when no one cares…

One of the interesting things about attempting to be serious about competing as an older athlete is knowing that there are very few expectations. My parents, while they are happy that I am enjoying myself, have no vested interest in whether I win or lose or even continue. My spouse, while supportive and perhaps entertained by my endless self-talk about aches and pains, will be un-phased by the outcome one way or another. My teenage (or near-teenage) children, let’s face it, will be embarrassed regardless of what I do. That leaves me, myself, and I. Do the promises I made to myself matter? I am tired, life is hard, no one would blame me, and it would be “oh so easy” to just back out and not continue with my plans to compete. The question then becomes…

Should I or should I not?

Nationals are 2 months away, and life has thrown me a curve ball. Earlier this year, I found myself asking the same question during a much simpler time. Do I have an indomitable spirit or not? Do you? Do you? The true, most honest answer, is “no, I do not.”

However, I can choose something different. One of my favorite verses in the Bible states “for God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7). I can choose to have an indomitable spirit and finish this thing even though it doesn’t feel possible, and truth be told I do not really want to. So, that is what I will do. My plan is to put one step in front of the other until I am finished.

What about my son?

Google has all the answers. Am I right? I queried if there were other martial artists who have struggled with similar issues. Of course, the answer is yes. I came upon a site with the following quote: “Sometimes that which keeps us from doing what we want is the most challenging part of our martial arts practice, but the practice remains.”

Yes. That is really what it is about anyway… overcoming struggles, learning from hardships, and doing what is right even when no one is looking. “Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” 1 Corinthians 10:31

We are going to be okay.