The Siren's Call to Quit

The competition year is over. It was a success; our family brought home 2 medals from a national event, and our team placed third in the country. Even better, my daughter qualified for and attended AAU team trials where she also did well, despite missing out on the team spot.

With all of that, my plan had been to write about how proud I am of my children and to be part of this team—I wanted to bask for a minute in the success that came from so much (literal) sweat, blood, and tears. Instead, I find myself thinking about the underbelly of the beast: those really hard days when I asked myself if it was worth it, those days when I wanted to quit, those days when my children were struggling, those days when we as a family had to choose between competition or vacation, those days when my body hurt, those days…

I am not a “sports” parent

Traveling sports teams simply did not exist outside of public schools in the rural area where I grew up (even if my parents could have afforded it). So, when my daughter approached me several years ago with her desire to be on the Taekwondo competitive team, my initial response was “no way.” I was immediately aghast by the implications.

The money.

The time.

The pressure.

The commitment.

I did not think I had it in me. To be honest, we have been doing it for three years now and it still takes my breath away. It is a BIG deal.

Not only that…

My confession is that I had a really hard time imagining my kids being successful on a competitive sports team. Let’s be real for a minute: we are far from the most athletic family. We are not fast. We are not particularly strong. We do not thrive on competition. We rarely even watch sporting events on the television or attend them in person; you are much more likely to find us floating on the river, or hiking in the backcountry, or attending a music concert. I mean, picking huckleberries is usually a highlight for me.

Which brings me to the myth about competitive sports:

That being the idea that you must be a naturally talented athlete to be successful. Understanding that fact may be one of the most valuable lessons from this whole experience, as it applies to so many other aspects of life. The caveat is that you must be engaged to really understand. You must show up. You must commit. You need to see it play out for yourself. Otherwise, that truth is just hearsay, and many are left believing that those in the winner’s circle are, necessarily, just the most talented athletes.

The gift of failing

Speaking of gifted athletes, one of the most inspiring things I have witnessed over the last few years is watching young people fail…

and fail…

and fail…

but keep working until that day when their hard work pays off and they wildly succeed. Some of them ultimately have sporadic success. Some of them have marginal success. Some of them have phenomenal success. Regardless, I have repeatedly observed them work hard day after day—even in the face of failure—and it is truly something to behold. I have seen it not just in my own children, but also their teammates.

The kids that Just. Do. Not. Quit. are impressive in a way that is hard to capture until you see it firsthand. These are the kids that experience defeat but keep working, and it is so obvious that regardless of how much success they ultimately achieve as an athlete, they are growing to become the type of people you want in your corner.

So, is it all worth it?

There is a reason the picture for this post is a racehorse (other than the fact that I just love horses). If you read about some of the most iconic horses in racing history (Man O' War, Secretariat, Sea Biscuit, etc.) you will almost always find descriptions of their "heart"—a spirit which compelled them to be great. I have witnessed that type of spirit cultivated in these young people. So, in a word, yes, it is all worth it.

Do not be fooled though, it is not easy. The sacrifices are real. The heartache is real. The tears are real. BUT, when the day comes (and it WILL come) when you start to see the fruit of all those years play out in your children, not only as an athlete but as a human, there will be no doubt. You will sign up and do it all over again.