Taekwondo, Itchy Ears, & my “Old Lady” Mentality

I spent this weekend at a Taekwondo clinic with a large group of young athletes and a few other “older” athletes. It was amazing (and I am SO sore). I recently crossed the threshold of half a century, and I could not ignore that fact during the rigors of this clinic. So, I decided to share some of my thoughts on being an “old lady” and how I plan to define that for myself going forward.

First of all…

Getting “old” is nothing like I expected. I really do think it is hilarious…being 50 years old, I mean. My closest friends and I have what we call the Old Ladies Club™. Being part of this great group is a little like going through puberty again, only this time instead of pretending the unspeakable, embarrassing things are not happening, we sit around drinking coffee and giggling about them. For example, did you know that itchy ears are a thing? I was sure that I alone was experiencing this annoying phenomenon, but nope! It is confirmed that itchy ears are common in older women (sorry men, it could be true of you too, but I just don’t know).

Our choices are the same as we age…except they’re not

So here I was, a freshly minted 50-year-old woman with the choice to join in on this training event or not. On the one hand, it was an opportunity to train with Master Yosvany, an elite coach with a stellar reputation. On the other hand, except for just a few, the participants would be under 20 years old. I knew it would be rigorous, both physically and mentally. I DID NOT know if my body would hold up, or my stamina, or my will to survive. OK, I may be exaggerating a bit. The truth is in many ways I felt much the same during this training as I believe I would have at a much younger age…

I had to make many of the same choices at this age as I would have when I was younger. I had to make moment-by-moment decisions about whether to continue or not. I had to decide at what level of effort I would put into each exercise and each drill. I had the familiar feeling of tug-of-war as my body was starting to fatigue and my mind was begging me to quit, but I knew that if I did quit I would experience regret and remorse. I had to cope with the emotional ups and downs of realizing my shortcomings AND those few things that I do well (at least for a 50-year-old lady). I had to choose whether I would care what other people think, which can be a challenge at any age. The list of small personal choices that anyone of any age had to make goes on and on.

The other truth is that my choices were NOT the same as they would have been at a much younger age. Then, the choice to push through fatigue or not would have been a simple matter of discipline and perseverance. While that is still partially true, it is not the whole story anymore. As much as I would like to pretend otherwise, my body is sporting 50 years of wear and tear. There is no getting around it, and there were moments when the wisest thing for me to do was watch from the side of the mat. That realization was an awkward moment for me internally. It was a hard thing to admit. It was also an easy thing to admit. Admitting it meant that I have limitations now that I can’t avoid, which is both annoying and welcome. Now I must wonder, did I really stop because of age, or did I stop because I had a “valid” excuse? That’s the conundrum of getting old—and I’m still trying to figure this thing out.

The one thing I am sure of…

I’m enjoying Taekwondo during this season of my life. I don’t know what next week or next year will bring. So, for now, I can participate, and I’m grateful. I would encourage anyone considering the idea of taking up a martial art to just go for it!